Top 5 Things About Being Russian in America

By Alisa Givental

At least he’s wearing a shirt.

Our Russian-American Mash-Up Alisa Givental enlightened us with her take on watching the Sochi Olympics as a Russian in America. But did you know being a Russian in America is pretty awesome?

5. I have an immigrant stomach.

When I travel with my American compatriots, unlike them I seem to be impervious to maladies from local food and water.

4. Putin is not my president.

Although I have to say, I think it would be interesting to be governed by a version of Obama who frequently appears on television without his shirt on.

3. I have an impressive collection of empty plastic bags.

We former Russians can’t seem to throw them away, but now that they have been banned in San Francisco, this particular habit seems to have proven wise.

2. I’ve noticed that I and my Russian immigrant women contemporaries seem to all be somewhat insubordinate.

Or maybe we’re tolerably irreverent. Rather than being punished for it we are respected. Or maybe we are just happily delusional?

1. To be deemed “interesting” I need only mention that I was born in the Soviet Union.

The American fascination with Russia renders it entirely unnecessary for me to actually have anything interesting to say.